What Is the Patriarchy, Really?

The patriarchy isn’t just "men are bad" or some abstract buzzword—it’s a deeply entrenched system of power that privileges masculinity, male dominance, and heteronormativity at the expense of everyone else. It’s the invisible (and sometimes very visible) framework that tells us who gets to lead, who gets to speak, who gets to be safe, and who gets to be seen.

It’s in our governments, our classrooms, our workplaces, our media, and yes—even in our own homes. It’s the reason women still earn less than men, why queer and trans people are constantly fighting just to exist, and why marginalized voices are so often silenced or ignored.

How It Affects Women, LGBTQ+ Folks, and Everyone

For women and femmes, the patriarchy polices how we dress, how we speak, how we age, and how we’re allowed to express power. It questions our intelligence, our autonomy, and our worth. It reduces us to our bodies and then shames us for them. It creates a world where violence against women is normalized—and too often, unpunished.

For LGBTQ+ people, the patriarchy enforces rigid binaries: man or woman, straight or broken. It punishes anyone who doesn’t fit those boxes. It erases queer love, undermines gender freedom, and upholds structures that make it unsafe to simply be ourselves. Transphobia, homophobia, and the constant push to "conform" are all part of its toolkit.

And for everyone? Even those who appear to benefit from it? The patriarchy teaches that vulnerability is weakness, that dominance is strength, that empathy is optional. It hurts all of us—just in different ways.

So Why Tear It Down?

Because we deserve better. Because there is no liberation under systems that rely on hierarchy and exclusion. Because until we tear down the walls that divide and oppress, none of us are truly free.

This isn’t about swapping one power for another. It’s about building a world rooted in equity, care, authenticity, and collective joy. It’s about burning down what no longer serves us—and planting something better in its place.

How Do We Dismantle The Patriarchy?

1. Start With Yourself

• Unlearn the lies. Things like "being emotional is weak," "men are the default," or "you have to earn your worth." That’s patriarchy whispering in your ear.

• Reclaim your power. That could mean taking up space, speaking up, resting without guilt, loving who you love, dressing how you want, or saying no without apology.

• Listen and learn. Especially to women, femmes, queer and trans people, Black and Indigenous voices—folks who’ve been resisting for generations.

2. Build Collective Power

• The patriarchy thrives on isolation. So connect. Create queer community. Support women and gender-diverse folks. Center mutual care and collective joy.

• Organize. Join protests, start reading groups, volunteer for orgs, support grassroots movements, amplify the hell out of marginalized voices.

• Protect each other. Whether it's calling out sexism and transphobia in your friend group, helping someone access care, or physically showing up—solidarity is power.

3. Disrupt the System

• Vote—but also understand its limits. Real change happens in streets, schools, kitchens, online, and off the grid too.

• Boycott when you can. Support ethical, queer- and woman-owned businesses. Divest from systems that exploit and exclude.

• Make art. Use humor, rage, tenderness—whatever you’ve got—to challenge the norm and spread the message. Culture is a weapon, and yours is sharp.

4. Stay Loud, Stay Tender, Stay Dangerous

This is long-haul work. There’s no quick fix. But every conversation, every refusal to shrink, every act of resistance—it matters.

Tearing down the patriarchy isn’t about flipping the power dynamic. It’s about building something better—a world rooted in equality, care, expression, and freedom. One where queer love thrives. One where no one’s identity puts them in danger. One where rest, joy, softness, and rage are all allowed.

So smash with intention. Burn with purpose. Rebuild with love.

The mountain is high, but we climb it together.